The Super Killer
by Senira
Summary: Someone's killed Yumcha, and Detective Goku's on the case...


The super killer

"I can't believe it!" Bulma said as she hung up the phone. "It's happened again! Puar is dead!"

Vegeta shook his head. "Pathetic humans can't defend themselves…oh well, who need that furry freak anyways."

Bulma glared at him. "How can you be so insensitive?"

Vegeta smirked at her. "Quite easily actually."

She sighed and went into the hallway, heading for her lab. She had no time for this. She had work to do.

***

Chi-Chi hung up the phone. "I can't believe it Son-kun," She said using his pet name to get his attention "All our friends are dropping like flies."

Goku looked up from his dinner. "That's nice Chi-Chi."

Chi-Chi glared at him. "How can you be so insensitive?" 

"Well Chi-Chi, all of the friends who died so far are meaningless sidekicks we use to stall time whenever I die. Their existence in this story was simply a mistake that Sailor Star made and she's too lazy to go back and fix, so she's using them to move the story along."

"Oh….well…I guess that does make sense…never mind then!" 

"Good. Now that we have that cleared up, GET ME FOOD WOMAN!"

"Hai Son-kun" Chi-Chi said and ran off to cater to the every whim of her demanding and cruel husband.

***

Later that day, Yumcha broke up with her. Bulma was devastated. She cried and whined and moaned, and basically made an idiot out of herself. Not while he was there of course. While this was going on, there was a knock on the door, and Vegeta answered it. It was Sailor Star.

"Hey you two, forget what I said about the other guys being dead. The story was actually supposed to start here, I was just too messed up to figure out how to start it without leaving a big blank. So, here we go! Oh and by the way Vegeta…are you busy tonight?"

"Please, I'm not going out with a 13 year old. Don't insult me."

"If you don't I'll sic Insane on you again"

Vegeta raised his eyebrows. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO! SHE'S CRAAAAAAZY! I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU! BUT SPARE THE CHILDREN! PLEASE! MERCY!"

"Umm…ok….I'll just go back to the story now."

Vegeta wiped a tear from his eye. "Thank…I…I just get so emotional some times…It may not seem like it, but I'm really in touch with my feminine side. And I don't always train…sometimes…when I leave the house and fly off…I go and pick flowers, and put on pretty dresses and play with the animals…then I eat them."

"Umm, ok, more info then I needed to know. I'll…just be going now…bye!" Then I ran off to go finish my fic.

***

Anyways, Bulma was devestated, the other guys never really died, and so Goku was once again a sweet naïve, wife abusing bastard.

Later that night, Bulma left, and still later, when Vegeta was coming back from his date, she came home covered in blood. "Bulma, what have you been doing? Have you been out with your big-ass machine gun © taking revenge apon your unworthy ex-boyfriend?"

"Um…No."

"Ok then, just checking!" Vegeta then skipped off toward the house singing "I feel pretty…oh so pretty.."

The next day, Yumcha's machine-gunned body was found lying on his bed. The only reason anyone found him was because Puar, who had been in love with Yumcha for years, had took advantage of him, and flew to Master Roshi's island to tell them of his unfortunate death. Without Yumcha there to protect her, Roshi was free to screw Puar, and they both got married and had tons of kittens. Now, back to the point of the story.

After his body was found, his funeral was held at his favorite strip joint. Goku, who was once again in jail for abuse, heard about it, and was sad because that was the strip joint they always used to go to together.

When he got out of jail, he was determined to find out who had killed the guy who attracted the most women. So, he gathered all the remaining friends and got them together in his house. When they arrived he was wearing a detective outfit and was smoking a bubble pipe.

"Alright. One of the people in this room killed Yumcha. And I'm going to find out who."

"How do you plan to do that Goku?" Chi-Chi asked.

He growled and turned to look at her. She cleared her throat quickly and said, "errr, how do you plan to do that sir?"

He nodded and continued. " By a process of deduction, examining the evidence, and spending 'quality time' with my little boy over there," He said winking at Gohan, who shuddered and ran out to the bathroom to go take a nice long, cold, shower. "I've come to the conclusion that the culprit is none other than…Piccolo!"

"Baka, I'm not even in this story. The only person who could have killed him is-"

The lights shut off, there was a scream, and when the lights went on, he was dead.

Goku blinked. "Ok..the killer is…King Ki!"

"Goku, you idiot. I'm all the way up here. I never go to earth. I even saw who killed him. It was-"

The lights went off. The front door opened, someone ran out, and a few minutes later came back in. Then the lights turned on, and Bulma was panting, her big-ass machine gun © sitting in her hands, where it'd been when she walked in.

Goku blinked again. "Ok…the killer is-"

"Enough of this! Why are you picking people that aren't in the story? It makes no sense! How dense are you? The killer is obviously-AAHHHHHH!"

The light went off, and when they came back on, he was dead. 

"That sucks. Wanna get some ice cream kiddo?" He asked Gohan who'd come out of the shower 5 minutes ago. "I'll add that 'special topping' you like!" Gohan ran off to take another shower, and all the world was good again.

The end


End file.
